My Birthday Shavuot

Shavuot was always my favorite holiday. I was always thinking that it was because of my bad relationship with winter and my love of warmth that always arrives with this holiday. I also preferred dairy over meat all my life. And then I found another reason: my Hebrew birthday! I was born on the 7th of…

Songs that I Love

Being at Limmud FSU reminded me again that Jews come in all colors, speak different languages, have diverse backgrounds and like a variety of things. Music is probably the one thing that brings us together regardless of what specific kind of music we love. At the conference, we heard the very talented singer from Israel, Ninet. We…

Limmud! What a Great Idea!

Limmud is a really neat idea!I have been going to Limmud in New York area for years, was involved with the Limmud NY chavruta project and Limmud FSU for quite some time now. I have just returned from yet another amazing weekend celebrating Jewish life in all its incarnations. The energy of the place filled with a…

Sad Anniversaries in My Life Paving the Road for the Better.

Last year, on this day I wrote something: Pain, scream, blood, night – again and again in my family How many times, G-d? Loving eyes asking me silently “why this torture?” – again and again How many times, G-d? Sparkles of hope come and go – again and again How many times, G-d? Girls of…

Freedom!?!

Freedom! I don’t really want you I don’t really need you Yet, I’ve chosen you. Freedom from the pain Freedom from the sadness Freedom from the doubt Freedom from illusion Freedom from the mockery of LOVE. Free to make decisions Free to go or stay Free to cry whenever Free to die or not. I…

The End of Kaddish Era

Today, 11th of Nissan marks the end of an era for me. Today is the last day of the kaddish for my father, Shimon ben Nachum z’l. Had it been just yesterday when I started? Or ages ago? Today I am looking back to my short runs to the huge historical shul near my work with a minyan (or…

Just Two Verses

Yesterday, taking a break from pre-Pesach cleaning, I decided to go to a class for some real preparation. The Community Beit Midrash project is a cooperation of several learning institutions we are lucky to have here, in New York City. This one was held at Drisha, located just a block from the Central Park. It was…

Back to the Darkness … Again?!!

These days are not like one another. G-d! I try! I try hard. I succeed … sometimes. I wake up. I smile. I even sing. And then I dance – the dance of a shot-down swan… Music is supposed to lift a person up. Not me. For me, it brings back tears. My love, my…

Lost in Winter

It’s one of these days when I feel I am lost again. Lost without the people in my life gone forever. Lost without the main man in my life, my dad whose birthday is coming up in two days. Lost without my sister who was the epitome of the things a true woman possesses. Lost…

February 27

Today is the day I remember a woman that was born just 55 years ago. A woman who may not have been the prettiest one on earth, the smartest one on earth, but was certainly all this to me. A woman that is remembered by everyone who met her even accidentally 20 years since her…

A Few of my Favorite … Lines

Today, when things happening in my life have put me in front of the same dilemma, again and again, I am back to being confused and angry at myself for inability to make a final decision. It is written in the Mishna “Say little and do much” (Avoth 1:15) It seems that all I do is talk, and do…