Freedom!?!

Freedom! I don’t really want you I don’t really need you Yet, I’ve chosen you. Freedom from the pain Freedom from the sadness Freedom from the doubt Freedom from illusion Freedom from the mockery of LOVE. Free to make decisions Free to go or stay Free to cry whenever Free to die or not. I…

The End of Kaddish Era

Today, 11th of Nissan marks the end of an era for me. Today is the last day of the kaddish for my father, Shimon ben Nachum z’l. Had it been just yesterday when I started? Or ages ago? Today I am looking back to my short runs to the huge historical shul near my work with a minyan (or…

Just Two Verses

Yesterday, taking a break from pre-Pesach cleaning, I decided to go to a class for some real preparation. The Community Beit Midrash project is a cooperation of several learning institutions we are lucky to have here, in New York City. This one was held at Drisha, located just a block from the Central Park. It was…

Back to the Darkness … Again?!!

These days are not like one another. G-d! I try! I try hard. I succeed … sometimes. I wake up. I smile. I even sing. And then I dance – the dance of a shot-down swan… Music is supposed to lift a person up. Not me. For me, it brings back tears. My love, my…

Lost in Winter

It’s one of these days when I feel I am lost again. Lost without the people in my life gone forever. Lost without the main man in my life, my dad whose birthday is coming up in two days. Lost without my sister who was the epitome of the things a true woman possesses. Lost…

February 27

Today is the day I remember a woman that was born just 55 years ago. A woman who may not have been the prettiest one on earth, the smartest one on earth, but was certainly all this to me. A woman that is remembered by everyone who met her even accidentally 20 years since her…

A Few of my Favorite … Lines

Today, when things happening in my life have put me in front of the same dilemma, again and again, I am back to being confused and angry at myself for inability to make a final decision. It is written in the Mishna “Say little and do much” (Avoth 1:15) It seems that all I do is talk, and do…

A Nice Post for a Change

So, this is just a quick good mood post. I can’t believe I am writing this, but yes – I am in a good mood today. Apparently, it pays to get up at 6 am even on a day you are working from home. So this morning not only I got to the gym, but…

Today.

Today. Someone close to me is going to Israel. A good man, a good Jew, a trusted friend, maybe more than that maybe not. Like me, he wants to live there but is not sure when and how this is going to happen. But he is going to Israel now while I am staying here not…

Random Verses

These days it is hard for me to believe that I live in the same county I came to almost 20 years ago. Things happening today bring me back to depressive thoughts. This time not only for myself, but for all of us, or many of us. It seems that I am watching one of…

Shakespeare in my Heart

Today, when the world, the weather, and my soul are squeezed with pain and cold, I am reminded of my favorite Shakespeare sonnet. I would say it myself, but why? He wrote it so much better I could ever do. I would only add the word “blood” in every line of his, though: Tir’d with…

Laughing at Myself

Изнывая от жажды Я по снежной пустыне бреду “Но ведь снег – он вода”, любопытный тотчас удивится Что ты, путник ? Ведь снег – он холодный! Для меня такой тёплой и тонкой И не лучше-ль от жажды мне сдохнуть, чем на шаг отступить и напиться?