Another Day, Another Year

So here we are, again, Ready (?) to stand in front of HaShem begging for mercy. אבינו מלךנו – our father, our king – we cry asking for a better year that the one passed. Somehow, the liturgy of the High Holidays always brings me to inner tears. I don’t think I am able to…

Parshat ha Shavuah Verses Deuteronomy / דְּבָרִים

This past Shabbat we have said “Be Strong, Be Strong, Let Us Be Strengthened – חזק, חזק,להתחזק for the Book of בְּמִדְבַּר – Numbers. This week, we are starting to read the last cycle of the year – the book of Deuteronomy – דְּבָרִים. For me, this is a momentous Shabbat. My younger daughter is leaving to…

Coconut Cheesecake

My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow. And this daughter is, already, a better baker than me. Much better in fact. She bakes all the time. For the family, for her friends, for her colleagues. Every time something new. It’s hard to make a cake for her that would be good enough, even though, I know she’ll…

Sad Anniversaries in My Life Paving the Road for the Better.

Last year, on this day I wrote something: Pain, scream, blood, night – again and again in my family How many times, G-d? Loving eyes asking me silently “why this torture?” – again and again How many times, G-d? Sparkles of hope come and go – again and again How many times, G-d? Girls of…

The End of Kaddish Era

Today, 11th of Nissan marks the end of an era for me. Today is the last day of the kaddish for my father, Shimon ben Nachum z’l. Had it been just yesterday when I started? Or ages ago? Today I am looking back to my short runs to the huge historical shul near my work with a minyan (or…

February 27

Today is the day I remember a woman that was born just 55 years ago. A woman who may not have been the prettiest one on earth, the smartest one on earth, but was certainly all this to me. A woman that is remembered by everyone who met her even accidentally 20 years since her…

Easy, Healthy, Make-Ahead Cabbage Roulette

This Sunday should be a happy day. I am hosting my family for an early brunch. My niece is turning another page on the yearly calendar, and my younger daughter will be in town for a very short stay. I am excited! Since my dad’s passing, I am not able to invite guests, but the family…

Chanukah in my Life

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah.   First lights are lit in every house on my street The smiling faces you can see at every corner The songs of joy and laughing sounds grace the air My house has a light, but it is dark without you The souls of people lost forever Around…

Parshat ha Shavuah Verses -Vayeshev

This is another parshah of family relationships in the Torah. This time, relationships between men. Father, sons, brothers. It is well known that Yaakov’s sons from his three wives had a difficult time understanding why Yosef was treated differently by his father than any of them. Yosef was the eldest son of Rachel, Yaakov’s beloved wife, who…

Praising Gd Through Tears

I spent my morning at the cemetery. It’s been half a year. What is time, anyway? Here, on this side of the door we all dread, and are all fascinated with, time is precious. It’s tangible. We all run to finish things we need to do, making plans for the day – don’t forget this, remember…

Cold. In and Out.

Today is one of those beautiful windy and cold days when my heart does not know whether to be joyful before the upcoming Simchat Torah or to be crying over people lost recently and long time ago. This kind of weather usually makes me sink down into my dark thoughts. Last night I was dreaming about my loved…

At the Crossroads

I was listening to this song the other day Is this how our lives go? The road to eternity is long – I will yet come back. What we do here on earth in our lifetimes, does it really make an effect on eternity? Do we really meet the souls we loved here somewhere in the…